We Found the Perfect ‘Ugly’ Sweaters For Four Kinds of Midwesterners

By Christina Lorey

November 12, 2022

From the ranch-obsessed to the really bad at goodbye’s– we have the ideal holiday gear for you!

‘Tis the season to don your ugliest sweater and call it cute. If you’re in the market for a new one, lifestyle brand Midwest Vs. Everybody has a few funny, festive options!

First, there’s the Yeah No, No Yeah design, which pays homage to Midwestern indecision.

Next, there’s the Ope, ‘Scuse Me sweater, featuring a bottle of dressing and the words “just going to sneak past you and grab the ranch.”

Then, there’s the Fueled by Beer and Christmas Cheer sweater, which (as it suggests) has the big man holding a beer (we’ll pretend it’s a Spotted Cow.)

And finally, there’s the On the 12th Day of Christmas the Midwest Gave to Me design, which is too good not to list the whole dozen:

12 Random Seasons, 11 Unfilled Potholes, 10 Bottles of Ranch, 9 Tornado Sirens, 8 Runaway Cattle, You Betcha’s, 6 Games of Cornhole, 5 Ope Sorry’s, 4 Big Storms, 3 Welp Alrights, 2 Finger Waves, and One 30 Minute Doorway Goodbye.

Happy Holidays from the Midwest!


  • Christina Lorey

    Christina is an Edward R. Murrow-winning journalist and former producer, reporter, and anchor for TV stations in Madison and Moline. When she’s not writing or asking questions, you can find her volunteering with Girls on the Run, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and various mental health organizations.

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